Haggard, filthy old man crawls up to the screen: "It's...." He's chased off by a drummer drumming.

"Who are you?" "We are Knights Who Say Ni."
Standing in the wood, demanding a shrubbery
The Black Knight, though his limbs are few,
Still wants to fight, but he can only bleed on you

Hi, Bruce, I'd like you to meet Bruce,
"I want an argument." "This is abuse."
Cleese walks silly for the "Ministry"
The Dirty Vicar comes to tea

Chorus:
That's the Norwegian Blue
Lovely plumage, but he's through, whoa-oh
Joined the Choir Invisible, it's true
He's not really dead, he's just pinin', I tell you

There's a penguin on the telly-vision set,
"Bring out yer dead..." they yelled. "But I'm not dead yet!"
Spiny Norman, the anatomy of ants
Terry Jones on organ, without any pants

Bicycle Repairman's on the case
Upperclass Twits are in a race
Gumby's brain is slow as a snail
Naughty Zoot's lighting up the Grail

Chorus:
Eggs, bacon, sausage, spam
Spam, bacon, sausage, spam, whoa-oh
Spam, spam, bacon, eggs, spam
Why can't I just have eggs, without so much spam?

Chorus:
Brie, Roquefort, Camembert,
White Stilton, Lancashire, whoa-oh
Red Leicester, Gruyere
It may be a cheese shop - you won't find any there

Evening, squire! (Wink, wink)
Is your wife a "goer", squire?
Know whatahmean? (Wink wink, nudge nudge)
Do you have any photographs?
Want some?

Dennis Moore steals lupins, gives them to the poor
No one's surprised by the Spanish Inquisition anymore
He's a lumberjack and he's okay
He sleeps all night, he works all day

Whoa-oh-oh!

Chorus:
Eggs, bacon, sausage, spam
Spam, eggs, bacon, and spam, whoa-oh
Spam, baked beans, spam and spam
All the Vikings sing, "Spam, spam, spamity, spam"

The Sergeant-Major steps in: "Stop this! Stop this! This has become much too silly!"